Posts
I don't know if it is a result of being trapped inside by the cold or what but I have been feeling alone lately. I love where we live but I am sad that I am not closer to either my parents or my sisters. We moved away from our friends, not by a lot but by enough. And I am sure it is just the weather because people always stay in more when the weather sucks, and it sure has sucked this month.
I love my family and I wouldn't trade what I have for anything. I feel very blessed in my life. I do wish that we had more friends in the stage of life we are. It is hard to try to balance family life and still hang out with our friends, sans kids. If we had a babysitter it would be easier but how do you find a babysitter? I mean seriously, how? I had a number, but Chuck had to go and throw it away so now I am back to square one.
And Chuck traveling just makes it that much harder. Trying to make it work out with two kids all day and night, no break, it is exhausting. I finally figured it out tonight the worst part; putting James to bed is usually my down time, I don't have to worry about Amelia, the house, the cat, anything. I just nurse James and close my eyes and relax. I don't have that now. I either nurse James while Amelia runs rampant and naked through the house, or while reading Amelia books. I really miss my time with James.
Amelia also has been trying every last nerve I have. I realized tonight that I really need to learn some patience and anger management. It is very frustrating trying to manage dinner with no help. Not just making it, but eating it as well. I have mastered making it with the help of a little tv time and the walker, but eating it, that is another story. Amelia still gets distracted when eating if she is not getting a lot of attention so when I have to feed James she sort of loses the plot. And then if I focus on Amelia, James ends up throwing his food everywhere. I swear after a meal it looks like a bomb went off in a supermarket.
