Facebook

I love Facebook. I hate Facebook. It is the connection to family and friends. It is the albatross around my neck.

I have come to view Facebook (fb from here on) as a necessary evil, but I love it. I mean, where else can you see what your friends are doing every day? Well, I guess you could always call them! And therein lies the problem; I don't call my friends and they don't call me. Why would they? I am a fb post whore, I put everything up there, most would probably say that I am a fb over sharer and I know I am guilty.

But I do it because I can, because with one post I can share Amelia's first (or 5th) day of school with all of my family in Maine, Florida, Connecticut, England, and New Zealand, and anywhere else they might be. I can share a vacation picture with friends that are scattered far and wide. In the span of 30 seconds I can share something that might have taken days to reach all of our loved ones.

But there is the issue of not calling people. Sure I can get a vague idea of what my grandmother is doing, or how the move across country went for a friend, but I never think to just call someone up to see how they are doing, like, really doing. Although I get updates from more people, I am truly connected with less.

Something's I think about deleting my fb account and going back to rely on email and Picasa to share news and pictures. Is that any better though, really? It would be more work for me, and I would just end up sending out mass emails and calling it good enough. At least with fb I usually feel guilty that I haven't talked to someone for a while Nd eventually do call them. If I were sending out emails (even mass emails) I would feel less guilt over the communication level.

So for now I will continue to be a Facebook whore and post my life for te world to see. And as long as I can keep up with all the security changes maybe the pictures and posts I put up will stay just a little bit private.

February Challenge

And it really has been a challenge.

Let me first explain. I created a challenge for the month of February, a fitness challenge. I was really very excited about it, running, weights, yoga; a different challenge every day (except for two rest days). I started out running a mile, a task that is repeated each week. My first time was 9 minutes and 5 seconds. A sprained ankle made the first half of the month difficult for the running days. But I persevered, figuring if others were doing my challenge than I should too.

But as the month has worn on, most of the people doing my challenge with me have fallen off. It was nice having people doing it, it spurned me on. Days when maybe I was a little tired, or had put it off too late, I would still do it, knowing that somewhere out there someone else was doing it to. But as followers have stopped doing the daily challenges I find it too easy to not do them myself.

And of course, I wish I had the will power to just do it myself but I am weak. The husband helps keep me on task though and that is good.

On a higher note, the pushups are doing great! We did repeat week 3, due partly to the norovirus and also just to help make the whole thing a bit easier. Friday I did 122 pushups, not too shabby. Half way through, although I have a feeling that more weeks will have to be repeated.

Diet

Diet is an interesting concept. The definition of diet is simply the kinds of food that a person, animal, or community habitually eats. So really anything we eat is our diet. However, these days diet has come to refer to a restricted regiment of food and has taken on many shapes; The Atkins Diet, The South Beach Diet, and most recently in the media, The Paleo Diet (among many). If you are trying to lose weight it gets confusing trying to figure out which diet works for you.

I have been thinking a lot about this, as my weight loss has plateaued of late. I try to just eat right and watch my portions but that can be hard, especially when you have kids and have to have snacks around the house. So the idea of going on a specific diet to help aid my weight loss is rather appealing. You may remember my post about the Master Cleanse, I certainly will never forget the experience! So I am really trying to look at all angles before picking a diet, if any at all.

The first one I thought about was the Atkins Diet. I know someone on it who loves it and is losing weight like crazy and it is a really good fit for her. Although I really like the sound of the results, I love carbohydrates. And honestly I think it would be really hard for me to give up all carbohydrates, I feel like I would just be setting myself up for failure. I want a diet that doesn't make me feel like I am missing out on things.

Then I heard about the Paleo Diet and I did some research into it. Besides it being very similar to the Atkins Diet, it was a little intriguing. I read a lot of articles about it and came to the same conclusions as I did about the Atkins Diet. On top of grains and beans, you also can't eat corn. Or peas. Or potatoes. But then there are some who say that you can eat potatoes.

Looking at these two diets made me think about the sustainability of them. Can we eat that much meat as a global community and sustain it? Do we need to eat that much meat? Vegetarians don't think we do, but the Paleo Diet supporters say that we aren't that physiologically different from our ancient caveman ancestors and meat was the staple of their diet. Both tout the life extending benefits of their diets but I think the key lies somewhere in the middle.

Is a diet of meat healthy? Well probably not with the meat you are thinking. Cavemen ate very lean, grass fed meat, not grain fed hormone addled animals. So while our ancient ancestors may have lived a long life with their meaty diet, the fatty meat we have available to us leads to all sorts of health issues. Not to mention do we need that much meat? Sure our ancestors did, they were hunting ALL day, they were constantly moving. Us? Not so much. So do our sedentary lifestyles warrant that much protein? I wouldn't think so. But I am no nutritionist.

Then there is the issue of sustainability. Is it feasible for this many people to eat that much meat? I will spare you my bad math and instead point you a statistic and a very interesting article. Both lead me to rethink my meat consumption. As it is I try to eat local beef and pork and since I can't find local chicken I try to eat organic.

After all this research and reading I have decided that for now the course of action for me to just eat right and watch my portions. Limit meat and cheese and focus on whole grains.

Back to Work?

The question "Will you go back to work when your kids are in school?" is thrown at me so often, I have no choice but to think about my future. And it really is never very pleasant. "Back to work" is such a hard concept for me. After college I worked retail, and while I did enjoy the interaction with people, I could never go back to retail hours. After retail I did data entry. Sure I sexied it up and told people I worked for a litigation support company building databases, but the brass tacks are that I did data entry. So no, I will not be going back to that. Although I did enjoy the project management side of my job, but I think I get enough of that at home.

So what will I do when my kids are in school? It is not as if there will be a lot of time, school goes from like 8 or 9 to 2:30. That doesn't really free me up for a 9-5 gig. And I wouldn't want that anyway. Well my mom planted the seed in my head that I should be a personal trainer. I am still not sure if I should take that as a compliment or not, since personal trainers are paid to beat people up and my mom thinks I would be good at it.

But it got me thinking. I would REALLY like that. I love fitness. I know I may not look like it, but I am working on it. And I work on it a lot (on a good week!) I watch people at the gym to give me ideas of exercises, I read magazines to find new workouts, I watch videos on the internet to find the right form. The whole fitness world is just so cool to me. Training someone to reach their goals, watching and helping them get stronger, and not to mention being the boss, sounds like an awful lot of fun to me!

I got the opportunity to work out with a friend the other day and it cemented the idea in my head. That is what I want to do. Although I want to work on my own terms, not for a gym. I want to be affordable to people who can't afford the $70+ an hour that you get charged in a gym. I want to have a car filled with kettlebells and Bosu balls and all sorts of torturous gym equipment, so I can train anyone, anywhere. Yeah, maybe I will go back to work!

Hundred Pushups

The husband and I started this program tonight. It was better than I was expecting, besides the fact that I am so weak I have to do girly knee pushups. But it could be worse, at least I can do girly pushups right! And the sad initial test - 16 girl pushups. I have a long way to go but I'll get there.

So the gist of the program is that by following a schedule of pushups for 6 weeks you should be able to perform 100 consecutive pushups by the end of the 6 weeks. It seems a tall order but I am willing to give it a go. For more information go here.

While the program is free on the website, I went ahead and bought the app for $2 to just make it a little easier. A friend recommended it so I figured why not - the husband bringing home $75 in iTunes gift certificates from his recent sales op didn't hurt! The app is pretty nifty since it tells you how many pushups, then gives you a rest timer and then your next set of pushups. So easily something that you could do yourself but just handier than doing it yourself.

Day 1 pushup total - 48

Bathing Suit Season!

I realize that for many of us Northerners bathing suit season is a long way off. But it dawned on me today that for me, bathing suit season is exactly 3 months away! Earth Day is my annual dip into the chilly waters and it is coming up sooner than I would like. But the good news is is that I do have 3 months, 12 weeks, to get my body in shape before baring it to the world.

That means 12 weeks of running. If I run 16 miles a week, 4 4 mile days, that is 192 miles. That is 7 marathons! That is a lot of running. But it should get me in shape right? If 192 miles doesn't get me in shape I don't know what will!

It also means 200 pushups. That's right, 200. I am going to do the Hundred Pushup program, but I have to do the pushups on my knees :( Then hopefully I will do it again but actually do real pushups. Now I don't necessarily need to be able to do 100 actual pushups, but being able to whip out 25 at any given time would be nice.

It further more means a VERY strict diet. Back to counting calories (which I never should have stopped doing), limiting salt, and cutting back on alcohol. I am going for less meat, less carbs, and less cheese (which are 3 of my favorite food groups!)

So Monday I will be up and running, literally, at 6am. Gym on Tuesday and Wednesday, running again Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. It's a pretty strict schedule but I can do it! Yay exercise!

Losing It.

No clever title today, no witty post. I am losing it, I am losing my shaky hold on sanity and slipping into the dark. Not somewhere I want to be. I know I shouldn't need validation from others but you come to expect things from people close to you, you just can't help it. I don't like to think that I need people more than they need me. I feel isolated and the bridges I thought I had . . . Well let's just leave it at that.

The Master Cleanse

Day 1 1 Day.

Ok, so my sister finally convinced me to try the Master Cleanse. She always raves about it and how great she feels afterwards. Even her husband has done it several times and I figure if he has done it more than once the results must be worth it. But really what won me over was the lure of losing 10 pounds. I mean, who wouldn't love to lose 10 pounds in 3 or 4 days. And after a weekend of eating in Maine I needed it!

For the cleanse you need 6 lemons per day you decide to do it and I had decided on 4 days, Tuesday through Friday. So I went to the grocery store and bought 20 lemons, which I knew wasn't enough but I figured I could always go get more, plus they were really big lemons! I am thinking this is going to be a piece of cake, I love lemonade so this will be awesome, drinking lemonade all day. I have done fasts before and they aren't terrible so I am mentally prepared, so I thought.

I wake up on day one, Tuesday, feeling great. My kids slept all night and didn't wake up until 7:15, which let me assure you is a rarity and one I treasure. We all get downstairs and the kids play while I start juicing my lemons, with a hand juicer nonetheless. I put 5 of my big lemons in a gallon jug, added some maple syrup, and some cayenne powder, filled it up with water and poured myself a big ole glass.

The first initial reaction, besides the burning in my sore throat, was that it wasn't that bad. It was actually pretty good, maybe could have been a bit sweeter, but all in all I was happy. I mean, I wished I hadn't started when I had a sore throat because let me tell you a day of lemon juice did not make it feel better. I finish my first glass and am feeling good. Went and dropped Amelia off at preschool came back home with James. I decided that I wouldn't go to the gym, what with the only drinking I figure that working out would be a bad idea. Had myself another glass of the lemonade (less cayenne this time made it slightly less painful on my throat). Then went out to Target to try to find a better juicer, which I completely forgot!

By the time lunch rolled around I still was doing alright, I mean I wanted to eat because my kids were. I can see where the cleanse would be infinitely easier if you didn't have to make food for others. After the kids were up for their nap I entered my typical snacking time. And this was HARD. I found myself looking in the fridge countless times, only to close the door and sigh. But I was hanging tough. I busied myself and waited for the kids to wake up so I could take them to the doctor.

Then I started to get a headache. And little waves of nausea. I tried drinking some more juice because I figure I needed the sugar boost, but it was making my stomach upset and heartburn was threatening to set in. I drank a glass of water instead. I called my brother-in-law on the way to the doctor to try to get a little perspective on what I was feeling. He was on day 2 of his cleanse and I figured a little solidarity might help. He said it was normal and it would go away, stay strong! All this time the headache was only getting worse.

We make it through the doctor's appointment, double cases of bronchitis and antibiotics all around thank you very much, and I am not feeling any better. I call my sister, this instigator of all this misery. She tells me it is the toxins leaving my body, usually this happens on day 3 so I should be happy that I am getting it out of the way. Stay strong, stick with it. I can't even fathom making the kids dinner so they got hot dogs and cheese sticks. At that point the simple act of walking across my kitchen was making me light headed, nauseous, and it was starting to hurt to just have my eyes open.

That was the point where I broke. I ate a banana. Then I ate a sandwich. I pulled myself together just enough to get the kids in bed, which was no easy feat and took a little over an hour, and then I promptly passed out on the couch. The Master Cleanse is not for me.

Losing It - 2012 Edition!

I'm back! Hopefully for the whole year. Admittedly last year fizzled out a lot faster than I had hoped and not only here. I lost 16 pounds in the first 12 weeks of 2011 and then gained 4 back to end the year with a 12 pound loss. Not very impressive considering how far I have to go. So a new year, a new start, a new challenge (or 5!)
Challenge 1: Run 16 miles a week.
Challenge 2: Complete the Hundred Pushup Program
Challenge 3: Cut drastically back on the amount of meat I eat (notice I did not say quit eating meat!)
Challenge 4: Get my compulsive snacking under control.
And here is the big one
Challenge 5: Hit my 50 pound weight loss milestone, get down into the normal BMI range, and hopefully lose 30 pounds.

I know that this may seem like a lot and trust me, it seems like a lot, but I need to take control this year. If anyone follows my LoseIt! posts on Facebook you can sort of figure out how much I snack given how many calories I log running, interval training, and doing Bob Harper's yoga.

So here we go again!